Autism / Autistic and/or Special Needs Children/Kids

I had been to a "By Referral Only" seminar with Joe Stumpf who talked about sending a letter to your clients that spoke about something that would touch them...something they would really think about.  He called this a "letter from the heart.".  Around Father's Day, 2006 I sent the following letter out to my sphere of influence.  It did really come straight from my heart, and I still get many comments to this day about the letter.  I know I've gotten a lot of business just by telling my clients a little bit more about me as a person.

A PROUD MOMENT FOR A DAD - Father's Day 2006

From your personal Real Estate Consultant, Greg Anderson

Today wasn't going to be any different from the other birthday parties or social gatherings that this angelic bundle of energy attended with her parents.  Just six years into her life, she was so uniquely pretty, with beautiful hazel eyes, wild sandy-blonde hair, and wearing her formal party dress that she was insistent on wearing to the "casual outdoor birthday party" she had been invited to.  Momentarily looking at her, you wouldn't know that she struggled daily with her Attention Deficit Disorder and Autism issues.  She was, as usual, very apprehensive about going- her heart wanted to go, but her past experiences and brain signaled her otherwise.  There'd be a Piñata, lots of kids, loud noises, and activities that that would be physically and mentally challenging for her to keep herself "together" and composed.

From dad's point of view, there'd be the constant "melt-downs" to deal with, the strange looks from others and, of course, the almost perfectly predictable early exit from the party.  Was her dad up to it today?   His wife was out-of-town, and he had his three-year-old boy to take with, too. Was this dad insane for choosing to go?  What was he thinking?  He knew how these types of events usually ended up.  He knew the likely negative outcome that would ensue. 

If you've ever walked on a thin layer of ice over a deep body of water, you know the feeling of worry, as you carefully try to maneuver the ice.  Small cracks start to appear.  You hope that the small cracks don't suddenly splinter off into a large crack.  You struggle to pay attention to anything else but the job at hand - making it across the ice in one piece, and then back to the comfort of your home.  Today was going to be another walk across that icy lake...not knowing the outcome that would prevail.

The arrival to the party was purposefully timed to be after the Piñata.  This avoided some of the usual problems encountered, i.e. the little girl's extreme anxiety, not being able to wait her turn in line, and the worry of whether or not she'd get any candy.  Many guests were out mingling in front of the home on this warm summer afternoon.  There were kids of all ages to play with, and there was the usual hope in her dad's heart that at least one of these kids would want to want to play with his little girl...maybe someone who had an imagination like her; maybe someone who doesn't mind the constant chatter about nothing; maybe someone who didn't mind moving from activity to activity every couple of minutes.

As expected, most of the kids stayed in their own groups, kind of avoiding her if they could.  Her younger brother went off and found a group of kids to play with almost immediately.  She mostly played by herself, not realizing any feelings of loneliness...just enjoying each moment; exploring by herself.  It always seemed to be her natural instinct to play by herself.  Her imagination, often times, was a bit too much for other kids to understand or be interested in.

As the late afternoon progressed into evening, there on the driveway appeared a younger boy in a wheel chair.  He hadn't really been noticed up until now.  Probably about eleven years old, he had been seeking shelter in the garage with his family; avoiding the powerful sunlight reaching down from the sky that day.  It was written all over his face how he was feeling.  He was longing to play with the other kids, but pretty much seemed stuck in the driveway area with his parents and a relatives. 

Then...I watched.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my little girl, Lydia, purposefully approaching the young boy's wheelchair.  She immediately introduced herself.  This young boy's face lit up as if he had just come into contact with a lifelong friend he hadn't seen in years.  Is she really taking an interested in ME, he thought?    "Lydia is my name!" she stated.  "What's yours...?"  Wow!  I've got a friend who likes to talk with me, he thought.  "Jerry is mine", he stated back ever so humbly, but with much enthusiasm.   "Want to play hide-n'-seek?" she asked this boy with much anticipation.  While staring right into her innocent hazel eyes, Jerry practically jumped out of his wheel chair and emphatically stated "yes, I would!!!"  "FINALLY... someone who wants to play with me!" he thought. "Well then, go ahead and hide!" was Lydia's next statement to her new found friend.  Jerry definitely hid, and then he hid some more, and then some more; sometimes behind a car, behind a tree, behind a person...wherever he could maneuver those big round wheels of his wheelchair.  Then he switched roles with Lydia.  I watched the two of them intently as the night went on.  Each one was feeding off of the other.  I watched later as Lydia asked him if she could take him for a walk, set up his table utensils for him, get him some food, and even serve him dessert.  As the party was coming to an end, Lydia spotted some of the leftover candy from the piñata and gave it to her new found friend.

As Jerry was helped by family members aboard his specially equipped van, I watched as the two kids kept their eyes locked on each other waving goodbye.  I thought about how nice the drive home was going to be for Jerry, pondering all the exciting things that he and Lydia had done.  I was excited to tell Lydia how proud I was of her for having such a good heart for someone in need.  I wanted to compliment her on how well they played together.  Here were two kids with major disabilities not even realizing the impact they were having on each other.  Two kids, although disabled in different ways, overcame their disabilities and made each other's night one to really remember.  This night they did just what other kids do at parties.  They just played and had fun with each other!

Wow!  The innocence of a child!  To this day, I don't think that Lydia really knows the extent of what her gracious heart did for Jerry that evening.  What I do know is that it was no coincidence that Lydia and Jerry were put together that summer afternoon in 2005, at that residence, and in that driveway.  It was also no coincidence that my son, on that day, was at his very best behavior and had a great time playing with a group of kids he had never met before.  This allowed me time to watch the entire two hour interaction between Lydia and Jerry as if I was watching it on the big screen.  As Father's day quickly approaches, I will always think back to that day and thank God for sending me such a special child in Lydia and a special son in Luke.  I'm so proud of both of them. 

Some of you have had the pleasure of meeting my family, but if you haven't, now you know a little bit more about us.  I'd love to tell you that life is perfect for me every day, but I'll bet it's probably not much different than the days you encounter...some great, some o.k., and some not good at all.  Life offers us many struggles and challenges to overcome, but it's in those special moments of our life where we encounter feelings of love, happiness, enthusiasm, and purpose.

Greg Anderson

Father's Day 2006

I've never had the pleasure writing a blog before, but thought I'd pick a topic that is a part of my daily life and see how it goes.

I have a 9 year old daughter who is diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and High-Functioning Autism.  She currently attends a school for children with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome and is doing pretty well lately. 

It wasn't always easy.  I've been selling real estate since 1993 and have built a great business based on striving for repeat business and referral business from satisfied past clients.  When Lydia was born in 1999, I knew that there would be some sacrifice of my time for being a dad and helping out at home.  This was just fine and it was working out just great until we started Lydia in daycare at about 16 months months old. 

Daycare had problems at the get go with Lydia.  She was very fidgety, would bite other kids, and was disrespectful to teachers/staff.  By age 2, we had to switch her to another daycare and were told that we should have Lydia tested.  We did get her tested and were told that her fine motor and gross motor skills were lacking.  We were also told that she may have ADHD.  We enrolled her in another daycare where she lasted about another year and a half.  During that time, we also signed her up for a early childhood developmental classroom(through our school district) and started weekly therapy (Occupational, Physical, and Hippo-therapy).  Although the staff at her new daycare was patient and forgiving, eventually we were told that it wasn't working out with Lydia.  During this time, in 2002, our son Luke was born and was placed at the same daycare.  By fall of 2002, we ended up transferring our kids to a new daycare that was opening up in the area called POKO LOKO in Libertville.  We were truthful with the owners about Lydia and they seemed enthusiastic enough to give it a try.  Things worked out extremely well there and Lydia finished daycare until she was ready for public school.

It hasn't been easy selling real estate with Lydia around.  She has many quirks, temper outbursts, extremely high energy, is messy, clumsy, socially unskilled, and talks ALL the time.  I've tried to find ways to concentrate on real estate even with all of this going on the background.  I've taught myself how to be more organized, efficient, and how to multi-task.  It's not easy trying to complete to-do lists, talk with clients on the phone, and stay on task when I'm around Lydia, but also have always maintained that my family comes first before real estate.  Thankfully, I've discovered that most of my clients wouldn't have it any other way with me and TOTALLY understand.  In fact, many of my clients have become good friends because they've also gotten to know Lydia, Luke and my wife Donna. 

I've found that the majority of people hire Realtors because they want a good person who they know they can trust.  Yes, they also want to hire a competent, professional and hard-working pro, but they also want a "go-to" person who they feel comfortable with, like a good neighbor or friend.

I switched real estate firms back in 2005 and found it to be the best move I had ever done.  Baird & Warner helped take away so much burden from my daily work list.  Although I could get a better commission split at other 100% companies, I also needed a company who would take my marketing, client communication, and professionalism to a whole new level, thus taking some of the burden off of my time demands with Lydia and Luke.  I find that I now have more time for family than I've ever had before; my business is booming; and my clients are extremely happy with my marketing.

Can anyone relate??